Ineffable

It was like staying at a fancy hotel. Everything was prefectly arranged and in its place. Ben briefly admired the orderliness of Dean and Sarah's house but was distracted by what he had been thinking about since the last night of the Vegas trip.

He had woken around 3 a.m. only to find Clarissa's side of the bed empty. As he had taken a quick look around their room, he heard the door open. It was Clarissa sneaking back into the room thinking Ben had been asleep all along.

Clarissa never said where she had been, and Ben never asked but wanted to. Deep down he knew he had complete faith in Clarissa, but she was obviously hiding something. He wanted to bring it up during the plane ride back home, but they had thoroughly enjoyed themselves for once. No petty fights, not even the slightest disagreement. He didn't want to spoil everything. He planned to ask once they had unpacked at home, but they had barely landed when his cell buzzed with Sarah's desperate call for help. Now was obviously not the time.

"What are you thinking?" Clarissa playfully nudged Ben.

"Oh nothing. I guess Dean. I hope he's okay."

"Yeah..."

Ben read her thoughts as her eyes traveled around the lavishly appointed kitchen. Something like Yeah... all this expensive stuff can't help him. He turned to her, and they embraced. They were not moved to tears, just happy to have one another.

"I'm going to check on the boys," Sarah said as they released each other. He nodded, although he knew the little ones would be perfectly alseep and quiet as they had been since they arrived.

He loved Clarissa completely, but for some reason a certain film of paranoia encased his feelings for those he truly loved, almost suggesting that they didn't truly love him back. Cognitively Ben knew this was ridiculous, but his brain often managed to hint otherwise. It was a recurring topic of conversation with Clarissa he could never properly explain. She seemed to understand that it was something different that doubting her love, but these conversations typically ended in frustration for both of them nonetheless.

And now Ben couldn't stop thinking about that night in Vegas. Where had she been? What did she do? Could there be a simple explanation? He couldn't stand not knowing. He would ask when she returned to the kitchen. No big deal, just ask casually.

"Okay, so I'm in little Johnny's room and see that Sarah had put out clothes for tomorrow," Sarah interrupted Ben's thoughts. "Nothing surprising. Then I notice that the hanger is labeled, 'Monday.' Because I'm nosy and can't resist, I look in the closet and see that she has three week's worth of coordinated outfits picked out for him, each one a day-of-the-week hanger AND she did the same for the other boys too!"

Ben shook his head and smiled, not forgetting his plan. Waiting a few seconds, he changed the subject. "Hey, I have a question for you..."